I was significant;

you’ve turned me
into a broken
record

Anonymous asked: I hope you are well. I think about you often and send you well-wishes.

I wish I knew who you were, so I could think of you too. Sending you love.

I can’t compete
with the dead

or even the wicked

at least monsters
feed

I’m drowning

why can’t
I find an anchor

context

i was born —
then i grew into
whatever i wasn’t 
supposed to be.

mama reminds 
me,
i have no real
context without
a man.

none”, she says

not in this world

Anonymous asked: Your writing speaks to me. The raw emotion behind your words soothes my soul. Puts my heartbreak into words like I can't. Thank you for sharing your talent with us

it’s not fun walking around feeling like there is a giant gaping hole inside of your chest. but i’m glad you can relate to my writing. thank you for taking the time to send me this message. take care.

i’ve thought about
you enough to know
i don’t need you
anymore.

#word  

salt

i’ve tasted enough
salt for this lifetime


tears flowing, 
resting on my chin and
falling into my mouth


having to salt
the bland food
my grandmother makes


wanting to drown 
in the ocean but finally
giving up and coming
back for air


i really hate it.

#words  

late night confessions

I miss my first shrink.

He moved to the states and I miss being able to talk to him. We had a strange relationship. It was never one of those, “I’m only here for the pills”, I wanted to be there. I would make excuses to see him before scheduled appointments and he never once turned me away. He used to drop everything and make time, and I know he knew I didn’t really need him.

I wasn’t attracted to him like that but I felt safe with him. I would have fucked him. but now, I feel like I’ve done too many stupid things. I don’t remember a lot of them and I wish I did. Because I bumped into someone a few days ago and he was like “remember me? from ______, back in ________”? he had these pretty blue eyes and dirt blond hair and I didn’t have a fucking clue. I must have really made an impression. He knew my name. I turned red and he just smiled. ..

#fml  

2:19 AM

I can’t be bothered to take my make up off. I don’t care if it gets on my pillow. I’m tired and I finally feel okay after many weeks. I’ve decided I’m going to stop using my heart because it’s a useless fucking organ. If I didn’t need it in order to physically survive I would have cut it out a long time ago. I was born with a brain too, I need to learn how to use it.

#rambling  
Title: No Rest For the Wicked Artist: Lykke Li 188 plays

Anonymous asked: I don't know how else to say this, but I absolutely love your writing and I just aaagh... really wish you all the best because you deserve it.

thank you, kind person. you just made my day.

you are not my
happiness —

neither was he.